I'm not the girl of your dreams,
I never said I was.
I was always coming apart at the seams,
to flawed; an imperfect being.
My problems were always to much,
my depression such a crime.
I just wished I had your hugs, your touch,
but I realize all to quickly the complications.

They whispered in my ears,
and tell me I was never good enough.
I can still hear their jeers,
and my heart squeezes tightly.
I know I am really ugly inside,
a glorious facade of beauty.
You just did not know what I hide,
a terrible beautious monster.

My kindness is a crime,
even when my coldness comes along.
Let it go one last time,
it is winter here.

There was never a me and you,
it was always a lie in my mind.
You made me feel bright,
you made me feel wonderous.
I love you and you alone,
even when I was cold.
You made me feel like I was pretty,
that I was worth something.

Even when you are gone,
I miss you, I miss you.
Now I have gone and ruined it,
you made me feel optimistic.
Yet when winter comes,
it can not be held back.
Wind blowing coldly at my face,
pulling me away from the once place I want to be.

It is no wonder why they always leave,
platonic should my relationships be.
Less of chance seeing how ugly I am,
less of a chance of hurting another.

I am just to far away from the light,
even after many years I could not
rid myself of this ugliness
the the very end of good relationships.